When Your Body Changes Without Asking Your Permission
Lupe Morales used to love her jeans.
Keyword: used to.
If you’ve ever walked into your closet, pulled on a pair of your once-favorite jeans, and found yourself laying flat on the bed making a deal with the zipper like it owes you money, welcome. Lupe’s been there. Lupe lives there.
Let’s set the scene: it was a breezy Saturday morning. Lupe had her cafecito in one hand and a fierce plan in the other. She was going to brunch. With her girls. In those jeans — you know the ones. High waist, perfectly worn-in, made her butt look like a snack. She just needed to slide them on.
But what actually happened was a spiritual battle between denim and dignity.
The Denim Debacle
Lupe shimmied. She squatted. She made noises normally reserved for haunted attics. There was a point where she broke into a full sweat trying to zip the fly, whispering affirmations: “You got this, girl.”
She didn’t got this.
“Since WHEN did my hips have their own zip code?!”
Have you ever stared at your reflection, confused, suspicious, and mildly betrayed? Like, who moved my waistline and replaced it with a flotation device?
Welcome to the magical world of menopausal body changes. Where the weight relocates itself to places you didn’t know could hold weight — like your upper knees, earlobes, and apparently, your soul.
Battle of the Boobs
And don’t even get Lupe started on her boobs. Once perky little co-stars in the movie of her life, they now had creative direction of their own.
She bent down to pick up her earring and nearly knocked herself out with the left one.
“Who gave y’all permission to travel south without a passport?!”
These days, her bras aren’t so much about lift and support — they’re more like negotiations with gravity. And gravity is winning.

Mirror, Mirror on the WHAT IS THAT?!
Later that week, Lupe caught a glimpse of herself getting out of the shower.
“Is that… a back roll with an elbow dimple?”
Suddenly, she was investigating her own body like it was a crime scene.
“When did I get this soft? Who gave me these thighs? And why does my bellybutton have a roommate now?”
She turned sideways. Then the other side. Then tried a “suck it in and smile” maneuver. Nothing worked. The fluff was there, and it wasn’t shy anymore.
Hormones & Hangers
Lupe thought she could rely on leggings. Until one day, even those felt snug.
“I wore these to Thanksgiving and Christmas, and they never judged me. Now they’re judging me?”
Elastic waistbands used to be her allies. Now they were shady. Snug. Slightly threatening.
Clothes that once looked fabulous now seemed like betrayal on a hanger.
“This used to be my ‘sexy blouse,’ and now it’s giving ‘camp counselor with secrets’” vibes.
Her closet turned into a fashion haunted house. Ghosts of Outfits Past stared back at her every morning.
Oh, the Hair of It All
As if body changes weren’t enough, Lupe discovered a chin hair long enough to braid.
“I could lasso a cowboy with this thing.”
And it wasn’t just chin hair — it was rogue eyebrow sprouts, upper lip fuzz, and one particularly offensive dark hair growing out of her shoulder.
Lupe Snaps (in a Good Way)
One day, she reached her breaking point. The jeans? Gone. The fancy blouse? Donated. The over-promising shapewear? Sent back to the fires of Mount Doom from whence it came.

Lupe grabbed a flowy jumpsuit, a bold lip color, and a new fan.
She walked into brunch like a soft, squishy, magnificent goddess with a mimosa budget and nothing to prove.
And You Know What?
The jumpsuit hugged her new curves like they were always meant to be there. Her friends complimented her glow. She laughed until her mascara ran and unapologetically ordered French toast with extra whipped cream.
She didn’t need to fit into the jeans anymore — the jeans needed to catch up to her.
Dear Reader…
If you’ve ever mourned the waistline of your youth, or tried to Houdini yourself into a bra that no longer understands the assignment — you are Lupe. We all are.
Our bodies are evolving. Changing. Softening. Expanding in new ways — emotionally, physically, spiritually, and yes, horizontally.
You haven’t lost control. You’re just entering your new era. And it might be a little fluffier. A little louder. A little more you.
Join the Conversation:
Have you had a Lupe moment lately? Have your boobs staged a slow descent? Have your favorite jeans filed for emotional damage? SHARE IT!
Drop your wildest, funniest, most relatable body change experience in the comments. We’re here to laugh, cry, and wobble through it together.
Because menopause might mess with your curves — but it can’t mess with your confidence.
And just like Lupe, you can always find your power… even if it’s now located somewhere between your second chin and your sensible shoes.
Stay bold. Stay soft. Stay hilarious. And stay tuned for more Menopause Mega Mayhem.